The Trends of Life

I have a horrible pattern in my life. I have looked back and realized that every 5 years I tend to shead the friends that I have in my life and completely change the group that I am travelling through life with. While this allows for growth and for new ideas, I have found myself as someone who does not have a lot of close friends who have known me for sometime - and more importantly, have been around long enough to brake through the shell in order to see "me."

In so many ways I am not a very good friend. I keep myself sheltered, unable to open up the way that needs to happen in order to reciprocate true feeling. I end up with a lot of acquaintences which is ironic because all I have wanted in my life are those people to rely on. Those people that will be there and stand by you no matter what.

I was speaking with a friend the other night and I mentioned how she has lived through the "5 year curse" and that I was happy she was still in my life. I began to look around and realize that there are a handful of people that have fallen into this category and these people are so special in my life right now. Maybe with age comes the growth to learn how to give and learn how to open up. Maybe self reflection allows one to tunnel into those feelings so that they can surface around others.

Last night I sat around a bonfire with two people that have really been instrumental in this change and mean more to me than they would ever know. They turned to me last night and told me that they know I have been trying really hard to open up and to be that person and that they have seen the change but, they weren't going to let me stop there. They weren't going to let me run away anymore. They are in my life and they are in it to stay. I don't even understand when my life changed to where I got so lucky to have these people care so much.

So lucky to have these people...